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By Serge Kreutz (2010)
I do admit that Viagra gives most men better erections.
But does Viagra make for better sex? Actually, it does not.
For most men, Viagra makes sex worse.
Because erections and sex are not the same.
Erections are just blood flow to the penis. This can have many causes. Tiredness causes such blood flow, and so does a night-time urge to urinate. Several chemical agents, such as alprostadil and sildenafil citrate, have the same effect. And, of cause, sexual arousal causes erections.
But erections don't cause sexual arousal!
And this is exactly the most common misunderstanding with Viagra.
Most of the people who buy Viagra want better sex. They don't just want better erections. Only porn actors take Viagra specifically for better erections. For them, the erect penis is a professional tool, and actually, arousal would be in the way of performing as required by the director.
But most men who buy Viagra do so in the hope of better sex, not just better erections.
And that's not the same.
What is better sex?
Better sex is, first of all, better arousal. And it is better orgasms. Better erections is a distant third.
I have experimented with Viagra when it first was released to the public, and then also with Cialis and Levitra.
Yes, all three work. For erections, that is.
But I don't just want that. I want better sex.
Arousal to a stage where my mind is absolutely, totally focused on this moment. Arousal to a stage where I can think of nothing else, and feel nothing apart from my desire.
And I want to be on a desire plateau for half an hour.
And then jump off like a parachuter.
And all of that, I never had with Viagra.
Because Viagra is playing unfair tricks with my mind. Viagra is a master of wrong signaling.
It goes like this:
First is the ingestion of Viagra.
Then one waits for the effect to set in. This is already the wrong mental focus.
Then the erection actually happens. And the mind starts receiving signals from the concerned peripheral nerves.
Penis to brain: I have an erection (dose-dependent maybe even a strong one)!
So, the brain reckons: , aha, if there is an erection, I must be experiencing sexual arousal.
But it's fake. There is no genuine arousal.
And the same trickery goes on during intercourse.
Often, when I was experimenting with Viagra, I would question myself why I wasn't really focused on what I was doing.
And sometimes, haha, I would just stop in the middle of intercourse.
Not because my erection wouldn't suffice. The Viagra-engineered erection was just fine, thank you.
But my mind was wondering off to business matters. And my physical movements just reminded me of what I sometimes see of copulating dogs in the middle of a road, haha.
But I am not a Viagra dog.
And already several years ago I have stopped completely to mess up my sexuality with Viagra and co.
And you know what? Now I am almost 60, and the phase in my life when sex was best of all was not 40 years ago, haha, but 40 minutes ago.
And this is because I don't cheat myself with Viagra and other phosphodiesterase inhibitors.
So, where lies my wisdom?
I protect my testosterone synthesis. I avoid medications as much as possible. A common side effect of most medications is that they are hormonal interrupters.
At any rate, testosterone-driven sexuality is way superior to Viagra-driven pseudo-sexuality.
Testosterone-driven sexuality starts in the brain. And the degree of an erection is, by and large, proportional to the sexual agitation I feel.
The signaling is the other way around, from the brain to the peripheral.
And then, when the quality of an erection appears not yet to indicate mental stimulation on the highest level, just hold it off. You do not have to prove your prowess. If your level of sexual arousal is not as high as what it could be, blame it on her, rather than yourself.
Focus your mind on what you would want your sexual encounter to be. Testosterone is a great facilitator of sexual fantasies.
And pursue sexual encounters that match your fantasies, rather than resorting to Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, which anyway won't do what you long for.
And mind you: it's the quality of sex that counts. Not the quantity.
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Copyright Serge Kreutz